i must continue to express my guilt for my behavior today. the attachment of a slut to Cock is sometimes like the desperately clingy attachment of a baby to a pacifier. when one takes the pacifier away, the baby has a tantrum. likewise, whenever i feel that your Cock is being taken away from me, i become hysterical. and this is an explanation and not an excuse. thank You for seeing through my tantrum like a mature individual and recognizing my need for continuous discipline. i will concentrate on learning to love Your pain instruments as much as your Cock.
Your words have made my cunt wet throughout the day. i would be extremely thankful to be regularly and frequently disciplined for Your pleasure and for the purpose of reminding me of my place. thank You for allowing me to love Your disciplinary implements as i love so many other aspects of You. You have trained me to worship your Cock, to devote myself to Your asshole, piss and general service. i very much look forward to being trained as Your pain slut. i love your Cock more than i thought i had love in my slut soul, so the prospect of loving anything else as much as your Cock is daunting. but i am eager to learn to love the discipline i need very badly.
my cunt is already wet with anticipation of maintenance whippings. Sir, i hope above all that You enjoy beating my slut body. i would hate to know that acting as my disciplinarian is a chore for You. i know that i should be able to control my impulses, but the same nature that makes me crave being owned makes me need corporal punishment. Sir, i will concentrate on submitting very gratefully to the taste of your whip even though pain is pain for me. i am truly honored to be the recipient of such efforts as i know that it is a sign that You wish to improve me through your strict rule. of course, the most important thing is that i take lessons to heart when You punish me with beatings. my fantasies have always included copious amounts of brutal physical punishment, and i must express how very much i need punishment in addition to rule and humiliation.
regarding some of the readers' comments on my blog:
yes, i dream about my Master's Cock frequently. last night, i dreamed of serving his Cock all night long, after day dreaming of serving his Cock all day long. that is neither an untruth nor an exaggeration.
your comment is one that i find stimulating, so i will respond. it is interesting that You wonder if my Master is a figment of my rather robust imagination. he is perhaps a shadowy figure. he is hardly less enigmatic to me than he is to the readers that have never met him. i think my Master enjoys keeping me in a state of psychological vulnerability. if he left me without a trace, i would doubt my own sanity. i would wonder if the relationship every actually happened. i do not know if i separate reality from fantasy. i am a person easily given to hypnosis, i become entranced when reading fiction and my day dreams take powerful hold over me. perhaps some or much of this relationship actually is a psychological creation on my part, emboldened by the fact that my Master is indeed distant and reserved, impenetrable to my observational capacities at least. but i believe with every fiber of my being, that my purpose is to serve Master's Cock and that my life is best when i devote myself to revolving around pleasing his Cock through obeying his will.
my pen did rust on the day of confession #242. such an event could be symbolic. perhaps my cunt is so wet and driven with desire for Master's Cock that i end up destroying all which he wishes to provide for me. perhaps it is a sign of a completed phase. perhaps it is symbolic of the numerological significance of the number, 242. two, two squared and two square rooted. i am exponentially enhanced through my service to Master's Cock and the loss of the pen, a representation of his ownership of my cunt, reduces me again; deflates me to a diminished state. i do miss the pen. the bible and the quran and the torah or whatever else the ideologues might have you believe are filled with numerological patterns and significance. such is the nature of holy books and such is the nature of my diary of slut confessions because Master's Cock is my religion and God. my desire is only to please Master by allowing myself to be exposed as a true slut and by serving his showcase of his owned depraved cum slut.
Master, i pray to your Cock that You greatly enjoy training me to serve You as your pain slut. i pray to your Cock to remember my place at all times and to never deny your Cock proper respect. i pray to feel completely and permanently owned. Amen.
thank You,
kittyslut in training
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