thank You so much for reminding me of how your Cock tastes inside my mouth fuckhole. it made my cunt very wet and i was reminded of Your ownership of my slut body at all times. i am not touching my cunt yet because i know i do not have permission to do this. i am still so thankful that You allowed me to cum for your Cock on sunday because i would be stark mad if You had not rescued me by using me as i am made to be used.
Sir, i am trying to work hard to earn your Cock again soon if that is possible. i wish to be kept in your bed and collared as that is the highest place a pet like me can aspire to. i do regret that it brings You no joy to keep me in such a state every night. i know that i have disappointed You in a number of endeavors and most importantly, i have failed to bring You an adequate slut, but i still wish You did not feel that it was best to avoid me as You do. i remember in january, you said that You expected me to achieve my goals and then You would show me tenderness, but instead You showed me a bit of tenderness first and i then began to make progress on bringing You a slut. in a way, it's a fundamental incompatibility between us, but perhaps it is one that can be overcome. i love your Cock almost unconditionally and i will work harder and harder to serve your Cock the more i feel that your Cock loves me back.
Sir, i express such concerns because i am worried that i make You unhappy. You said that You were so sad when You thought of my disobedience on sunday. it does make me sad that You are so focused on my disobedience even though You did note that You are pleased with some things i do for You and i thank You for this acknowledgment. i hate to know that i make You sad. i try so much to please You, Sir, and if You are said then i should also be sad. i admit that it makes me sad when You remind me of my disobedience so often, so cruelly and so bluntly.
Your actions have lately confused me somewhat as on one hand, You contemplate aloud why You spoil me with lenience even though i am a disobedient slut and then You also have expressed concern about my happiness and about whether or not You are too demanding. Sir, i have lately been happy but i admit that i could not be happy indefinitely if i had to exist without Cock as often as i do. You are the only Cock my fuckholes touch and i am thankful that You keep me as yours. i would not have it any other way if my desires mattered. on sunday, it sounded almost like You felt guilty over something and i wonder why.
Master, i wish You saw me for what i am in my slut heart, which is Your obedient Cock slave. i wish You did not see me as a disobedient slut because i try hard to be obedient and pleasing to You and i always want You to be happy with me. i am truly thankful that You maintain high standards but i wish You did not feel so repulsed by the idea of keeping me with You even when i am imperfect. your Cock is Divine Grace, and i believe that Divine Grace can only improve me.
i miss You, Master. i miss spending time with You in any capacity and i hope that You miss me too. i love your Cock so much and i wish i could do something i would definitely succeed at to please You. i try to find sluts, but inevitably, i cannot destine them to behave as You wish. unlike your Cock, i am not a god.
Master, i pray to your Cock for forgiveness. i pray to your Cock to be pleased with me. i pray to your Cock for love. Amen.
thank You,
kittyslut in training
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