thank You for communicating with me today. i am sad that You decided not to come use my fuckholes for Your pleasure. i wish You were not so revolted by my disobedience that You wanted to avoid me. it makes me so sad to be without your Cock.
and i am sad that You could say that You regret showing me kindness. i wish You could not regret such a thing because You felt You enjoyed showing it to me so much. Sir, it has not made me spoiled and ungrateful although the past week of your withdrawal has made me more disobedient in spirits.
host sammy wants to bring a slut to me as tribute for any attention from me. and it is true that his offer does not make me want him, but i hope my lack of interest is because i am not attracted to his style and his interests and nothing more. i would hate to know that i love your Cock because You do not often express kindness while i have no interest in others because they show me consistent affection. i prefer to believe that my devotion to your Cock cannot be diminished by your kindness or affection and that such acts from You are what drive me. i am so distraught that You seem convinced that by showing me kindness You spoiled me. i hope that the state that i am in now, which is a state of depression and doubt, is not a what You wish me to be.
i will call host sammy's slut over the phone and explain to her that whatever she intends to do with sammy, she must do for You. i believe she will jerk your cum onto my face even if You do not want to fuck her. does that sound like a reasonable offer, Sir?
Master, i am quite sad now and i keep finding myself crying while writing this to You. and i suppose it is not just because You decided not to use me today, but because i worry about where our relationship is headed in times like these. i hate to know that You can turn your desire to show any tenderness off as though it is a switch and return to treating me like a "4am girl." i cannot handle being treated as such for very long. it's just too hurtful. it reminds me of last year and now that is such a dark place in my slut heart. it hurt so much to be there and i can't return there and i can't stay here anymore. i want You to come back and let me sleep against your chest so badly. i wonder if You miss me or if all You feel is ire towards me.
i wish You would return to believing that i will be a better slut if You show me affection first and do not withhold it until You are pleased. You are so hard to please. i want to do what You say and i try. but i guess You do not trust my efforts and that hurts.
Master, i pray to your Cock for forgiveness. i pray that one of the sluts contacts me back. i pray that You cease in withdrawing yourself from me. Amen.
thank You,
kittyslut in training
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