today, i felt that my life truly revolved around your Cock. i tried to get away from the internet and i tried to do things other than searching for sluts or thinking of serving You and i really could not. while at the gym, i think always of serving your Cock. i cannot force my mind to concentrate on anything else now. your Cock is my entire life. i am thankful to You for owning me completely, Sir, although i am frightened by the depraved creature i have become through your training. i understand that i was born to serve Your Cock as an owned cum slut but i remember that i used to also conceive of myself as a human person. now, i just don't feel human anymore. i feel completely as an owned set of fuckholes that can do nothing but pursue an obsession with serving your Cock.
Master, i hope to serve You in person again so badly and i hope to soon be allowed to serve You in your house. i think often of the time when You kissed my face so many times in your bed and i was so ecstatic. i hope i can earn your affection again soon as You have been physically so distant for the last several weeks.today, i repeated the words that "i am a cum slut and that i need to be trained" many times. i repeated it as i lifted weights and as i read through emails. i did this as a self disciplining exercise because i was so disobedient on friday. it was not exactly that i was driven by guilt over my disobedience, but i felt that i strayed too far from the feeling of being completely owned. and i need to feel that i am owned by your Cock or else i feel quite confused about my life.
i am excited to learn more about your new slut. i do wonder why she is not ideal for being permanently owned. i do hope that You were not considering replacing me as the slut You claim in public. Master, people into the lifestyle have all sorts of labels for things i just don't dwell on much. safewords, hard limits, scening- words that don't mean much to me usually, but if i had to call anything a hard limit, it would be that i cannot be owned by someone who does not regard me as their potential slut wife. for me to feel owned completely, i must feel that the my owner wishes to keep me forever and wishes to make his ownership of me official. i guess this is why i became so distraught when You spoke of ron. it would hurt me so deeply if You sought to send me back to that kind of a boyfriend even if You wished to still own me. i would not and could not be yours under those circumstances.
Sir, i miss You so. i wish so badly to see You when You return from your trip. i wish to serve You and speak to You. i feel sometimes as though i am going insane. You may have noticed that my moods and thoughts from one day to the next seem to have no connection with each other. i wish for your attentions in so many ways. i wish You would punish me, use me, spend time with me, spend nights with me. i need You to feel owned by You.
thank You so much for your instructions. i will jerk bitch boy's cock and then make him cum onto or by my feet and lick it off. today, he asked if i would ever have any interest in submitting and switching and i almost laughed. he is quite submissive and i cannot really imagine how he would take control.
i pray to your Cock for your presence. i pray to your Cock for your guidance. i pray to your Cock that You tolerate me. i pray for forgiveness. Amen.
thank You,
kittyslut in training
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