Slut Confession #205 (Primary vs. Secondary)

Master,

i have so much to thank You for today. thank You for arranging to have classic slut (my new kitten) come visit tomorrow. i think we can have such an enjoyable time together. i hope that she is willing to jerk Your cum onto my face as well. i need to earn Your cum and hopefully your Cock as well again. i almost do not want to even say anything about playing with kitten slut because i don't want to jinx it. she says she is bringing some ropes. Master, i do not have any idea how to tie knots. i would love to tie kitten slut up though. do You think you could teach me before kitten slut arrives?

unfortunately, i am still spotting and i am afraid that i will not stop by the evening. Master, i hope that my body adjusts to these pills soon as i hate that my fuckholes are so often dirty now. i only continue taking the pills because You required me to do so. i seem to have actually lost weight on these pills as i am now slightly less than 100 lbs. i also have fuller c cups. i am quite annoyed that the pills have improved my slut body's appearance only to render one of the fuckholes You own useless to You.

Master, i thought about valentines day as well. thank You so much for making the evening so wonderful for me even though i could not earn Your cum. i am still extremely distraught over my disobedience. i am so afraid that You will think i am untrainable or that You will punish me in a way i truly fear. i am afraid of being lent to host sammy and there is nothing worse for me than the prospect of never being able to earn your Cock again. i think i need to practice taking Cock up my ass slowly and i wish to begin training myself with some sort of object.

thank You so much for requiring me to express my political opinions and then reaching into my dress and pinching my slut tits. i love all reminders that You own me. i did not know what to think of your belief that sluts should never be put into any position of prominence. in my mind, a slut could do anything her Owner requires of her and if she has no Owner, she can only do tasks within her meager abilities.

i see that if You believe that sluts cannot or should not achieve real world success, then it naturally follows that someone who can only act as a slut is only fit to be a secondary. and i hate the idea of serving as your secondary. i will never do it and i am absolutely not fit to be one. the only reason this might be true is because of my absolute revulsion against serving anyone's slut. if i had the potential to be a secondary, then i believe i would have already expressed a natural desire to serve one. for example, when i played with ddd cup slut, she automatically submitted to me. she has no "issues" with submitting to a slut.

and i remember that You once asked me to submit to a slut You were seeing, more than a year ago. and i said that as a rule, i have no interest in submitting to sluts. thus, You did not even train me to have this kind of attitude of a primary. it was innate and i believe that there are indeed very few sluts who will be poly but will not submit as secondaries. i want to believe that it is my incipient sign of potential for serving You as a primary. it is true that i do not express a natural drive to acquire sluts for You, but i am finally learning how to do it and i am finally aquiring some playtoys for us.

Master, i am so thankful that You required me to speak to my supervisor. at least now i know how i can permanently avoid all the housekeeping tasks. You really do know best and i must get it through my thick skull that it is always best to obey You properly. for one thing, nothing else matters anyways. i am prone to anxieties of all sorts, but i must remember that nothing should make me as anxious as disobedience to your Cock. Sir, i would not have spoken to him today if not for your will. i hope You see this as a sign that i do respond to corporal punishment. i feel that i am a slut who needs discipline. i do not wish to prompt You to punish me if You do not enjoy it. i actually do not enjoy it as i am not a masochist, but it reminds me that receiving a beating from You is not fun and games. i truly hate signs of disapproval from You, Sir.

Master, i pray to your Cock that You cease to believe that i am secondary material. i pray to your Cock to please You well tomorrow. i pray to your Cock to make my anal fuckhole trainable. i pray to earn your Cock again. Amen.

thank You,
kittyslut in training