Slut Confession #36 (Falling Short)

Master,

i feel guilty and inadequate tonight as i could not please You and i believe that i want to. You always comment on the difference between the things i say and the things i do. i feel as though i make You believe in a
fictional kitty that does not exist in reality. i wish i were the kitty in my mind and it pains me to know i have disappointed You. i feel so inadequate as your cumslut although i am more functional as a whole than a have been in a long while.

the more i disappoint You, the more i doubt my own ability to succeed as your cumslut. i suppose i am somewhat selfish with my body (which really belongs to You). i need to learn not to think of my own pain before i think of how much i love your cock.

You have told me to be thankful for your cock in my ass and i feel i can never be anything but a disappointment until i learn to properly present my tightest fuckhole to You. i understand that i must be thankful that You have chosen to use my fuckhole for your pleasure and if i concentrate on this thought enough, then my own discomfort should become easily bearable.

i feel that i need You and would miss You intensely if you told me to be away from You for an extended period of time again. i trust your judgment about these things and if You deem that i am unworthy of any part of your presence for the time being, then i suppose i must do some serious introspection. i wish to work on my goals as i know this is the only way of being less displeasing to You.

i must find the submissive slut i fantasize about. well, used to fantasize about. now i only and incessantly fantasize about You. i think about how You spank me (and get extremely wet when i think of You spanking me while you wear dress clothes).

i went out with my cute small asian friends this weekend and i tried to smack their butts while dancing and their responses were somewhere between confused and offended. sigh.

i want nothing more than to be trained as your cumslut. i was so scared when you said "do you think you will ever wear this collar again?". i do not know what i will do with myself if you will not have me. i do not think you are too cruel or too demanding. i wish i could satisfy you properly with my ass.

i enjoy seeing what a cumslut i am for You. i will gladly and gratefully suffer umpteen humiliations for You, Sir. but some are a bit tough for me somehow. i will try and overcome my limitations in pleasing You because i am your cumslut and i really really need to be trained.

thank You,
kittyslut