Slut Confession #180 (Childhood Memories)

Master,

i strive to please You with whatever i should relate to You. i am not revealing the full depravity of my slut mind.

whore layla said something interesting to me once. she said that she only fantasizes about things that happened in her past; things that past owners have done to her. i am the same way. my only fantasies of myself are about things that have already been done to me. i never imagine my own future. whore layla sees her inability to fantasize about the future as a submissive characteristic. in a way, i agree. i cannot even fantasize about my future because doing so would be plan and construct my own future and that is a way of taking control. my erotic self never takes control.

and oftentimes i have no idea that the things You make me do will turn me on until they happen. i had no idea that being ordered to tongue your asshole would make my slut cunt so horny. i am not sure what my limits are or if i have any besides whatever You say they should be. i am not sure what i would enjoy that You have not done to me. perhaps my slut mind is as depraved as You make it because it belongs to You to fill with experience.

as a child, i always fantasized about fictional characters i invented and sexualized. since i have a truly phenomenal childhood memory, i can even tell You where many of my fantasies originated. i remember that my fantasy of a slut being raped by snakes began when i saw indiana jones fear a pit of snakes, which are to this day the snakes in my imagine that are used to rape sluts. i believe the first slut raped by snakes in my imagination was ariel, the little mermaid.

when i saw this scene (link), i was struck by the part where she enters the sea witch's layer and the sinuous weeds grab her (about 35 seconds into the clip). in my mind, she didn't get away from them. the other normal children probably feared the animate weeds and did not want them to succeed, but since i was born to foster a cum slut mind, i automatically fantasized that the weeds succeeded in pulling her to the floor and gang raping her. to this day, i fantasize about those creepy conscious seaweeds raping sluts. and in my mind, the sea witch was replaced by prince eric, who held ariel captive and did treacherous sexual things to her.

of course, such fantasies cannot be actualized in real life, but my mind does not tell me what should and should not be actualized in real life. my desire is to please You as your owned slut cunt and in some ways, i do not even know why i have this desire. i only know that i am completely consumed by it and grateful that i feel so.

Master, i am very excited to begin this next phase of my servitude to your Cock. i hope that this will be more satisfying to You. i am extremely thankful that You have decided to value my desire to be cared for and i hope that You always choose to be the one that cares for me. i thank You for telling me that You wish to own me forever. it makes me feel safe and completely owned. i do want to be especially obedient and pleasing this week for You, Sir.

i hope that You will always be able to see that i am is a slave to You and i wish You to know that i feel that You can invest yourself in me as a three dimensional slut being as well whenever You wish. i believe that You will always be my Master even if i one day saw You cry at a chick flick (although i assume this would never happen). i would love to be able to please You as some kind of companion to You even as i am your owned pet.

Master, may i resume prayers to your Cock again?

thank You,
kittyslut in training